lola (dragstripgirl) wrote,

private or not

my drunken mind last night (details coming soon) did me totally wrong and started remembering things i had wanted to forget. i tried so hard to disconnect myself from every last unresolved issue i had with you, but as we drove past ruby tuesday's, all i could think about was the first time we ate there and how girlishly giddy i felt about how perfectly we meshed. remember all those expectations? remember how many heads we turned?

when i got home last night, i checked my site stats hoping that i'd see your cleverishly named IP address somewhere amongst the recent visitors. i thought that maybe you were remembering things too, and were checking up on me via the only means you're able allowed to. i didn't see you there, but so what, right? that doesn't mean that you've forgotten, right?

my sober mind this morning did me wrong once again and started thinking about how stupid it was to believe you still come here. instead, i'm [more realistically] hoping that you still remember my name just in case we ever bump into each other again. if i spot you across the bar somewhere and give you "that look" that you loved will you smile and come say hello? or will you sit still and stare at me the way you did that last night when your girlfriend was telling you to let go (of more then just my hand)?
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